I was a little confused about the comments I received on this one. You wanted me to change the first headline to be two separate sentences, but you didn't on the other two?
Am I supposed to do a fourth for the 000 one? Is the incentive going to be $20 on all four?
I changed it accordingly, let me know what you think.
Thanks
Front before pull out:
Managing your money can be easy.
Pull out:
When you can see your goal its even easier.
Sub head: Lloyds TSB can help you manage your money and learn to focus on what’s important in life.
Visit lloydstsb.com to learn how to reach your goal.
TAG: Reach your goals.
Front:
Your money can do a lot of things,
Pull out: including grow.
Subhead: See how quickly your money can increase by opening an account with Lloyds TSB today.
Visit lloydstsb.com to learn how to make your money thrive.
TAG: Reach your goals.
Front:
Be someone who makes money,
Pull out:
and knows how to keep it.
Sub head:
Manage your money wisely with Lloyds TSB and you can earn the respect you deserve.
Visit lloydstsb.com to learn how to earn respect.
TAG: Reach your goals.
Getting closer. Your new tag definitely supports the concept better.
ReplyDeleteThe head on #2 is working the hardest. I'd like to see you come up with options for the other two that are as strong.
Subheads are still too long and may over promise (can Lloyds really help you 'focus on what’s important in life'? Can you really guarantee money will grow 'quickly'? Is managing money really about getting respect?) Please shorten per previous comment and make sure they're supporting your concept. Run your lines through the filter - Is this relevant? Is it accurate?