BELOW ARE COPY FOR LLOYDS BANK FROM LIANA AND PLA:
Front before pull out:
Managing your money can be easy,
Pull out :
when you can see your goal.
Sub head: Lloyds TSB can help you manage your money and learn to focus on what’s important in life.
Visit lloydstsb.com to see how you can be in control of your life.
See what it could be in your future.
Front:
Your money can do a lot of things,
Pull out: including grow.
Subhead: See how much money you can grow by opening an account with Lloyds TSB today.
Visit lloydstsb.com to see how you can be in control of your life.
See what it could be in your future.
Front:
Ear Respect,
Pull out:
Earn a life.
Sub head:
Manage your money wisely with Lloyds TSB and you can earn the respect you deserve.
Visit lloydstsb.com to see how you can be in control of your life.
See what it could be in your future.
This is really improving. The first two headlines are great. I think the third head needs work so that it has just as much impact. Also, the CTA feels a little off. The message really isn't about controlling your life - it's more like planning for your future. See if you can tweak your line to reflect that. Lastly, the "See what it could be in your future" seems unnecessary. 'It' is always a very vague word. Either remove of adjust.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment. I will work on those lines and hopefully post them soon.
ReplyDelete